Halloween

It seems that the holiday of Halloween has been downplayed over time.  Some people try to make it less frightening and feel the need to suppress it.  For example, some parents make their children trick or treat during the day time.  That takes all the mystery and excitement out of Halloween.  Why do we, as a society, feel the need to contain everything so that it is tame?  That says to me that there is something freeing about Halloween that makes some people nervous, and they feel like they need to push it down.  Frankly, it's too cool of a holiday for people to stop celebrating.  There's a reason so many celebrate it to this day.

It has become the norm for only young kids to go trick or treating.  When I was a kid, there would be crowds of people trick or treating on Halloween night, and a lot of people participated in it.  But as the years went by, fewer people trick or treated, and I was beginning to be pressured not to trick or treat any more because I was "too old".  I was still a kid, but people began to think that only small children should participate in trick or treating.  I wasn't too happy about this, and it bothered me when an adult commented on it while giving me candy.  They would usually say something like, "aren't you too old for trick or treating"?

But the fact is, lots of teenagers like to participate anyway.  I don't believe it's fair to leave them out, especially when there doesn't seem to be many places for them to go and socialize.  I remember that there were sometimes a group of teenagers at the park I would go to as a kid, because they didn't really have anywhere for people of their age to go and have fun.

I know my great grandparent's generation had fun social events in their community during the late twenties, and again during the war years - they would go to dances.  I've noticed that people don't really go to dances any more, at least not usually.  In fact, most people don't know how to dance.  Teenagers are also worked too hard in school, and because of this, they undergo too much stress, and don't have as much time to socialize with their peers, something which surely is a human need for their age group especially.  I find it unnerving that people in their youth have most of their teenage years swallowed up by worrying about school.  So it makes me happy that a lot of teenagers my age have been deciding to go against the norm and trick or treat anyway.  I completely understand why they still want to - it's fun, freeing, and nostalgic, because they probably went trick or treating when they were little.  Why should we let go of childhood completely, just because of our age?  Does not being a child any more mean we can't have any fun?  Well, maybe it does, but not for me.  I think we should always keep in touch with our childlike side, because when we were children, we knew how to be free.

A jack-o'-lantern I made a couple years ago for Halloween.

Halloween was a part of my childhood.  Every year I looked forward to October, because it meant that one of my favorite holidays was approaching.  I loved picking out a pumpkin, carving it, then watching it glow in the dark after my dad lit the candle inside it.  I also loved dressing up in a costume and going trick or treating with friends.  The best part was going from door to door, and seeing the decorations all lit up in front of each house.

The picture above is of me on Halloween night when I was 12 years old.  I was trying to look like the Faery Queen from the Scottish ballad "Tam Lin", but most people thought I was an angel.  This frustrated me, so I kept having to repeat that I was not an angel, but in fact a Celtic Faery Queen.  They were a tad bit confused.  Some guessed I was a fairy, and only one or two people caught on that I was something Celtic.  Below is an illustration of the Queen of the Fay from the picture book I had when I was little.  The Queen of the Fay is the woman on the right, almost completely dressed in green.

I have always felt that Halloween is a very unique and interesting holiday.  The atmosphere it creates draws people to it.  It is the one holiday that is dark and encourages people to face their fears, instead of suppressing any dark emotions we may have.  Our society tends to numb its feelings and dwell in a pretend world too much, shying away from anything real and acute, even though such experience is a natural part of our humanity.

Halloween comes from Celtic origins, when the Irish and Scottish were still Pagan, and before Christianity entered their lands.  In ancient times, the Celts would celebrate Samhain, a festival that celebrated the darker half of the year, which took place from sunset on October 31st to sunset on the first of November.  This festival appears in much of Irish mythology.  The fact that Halloween comes from Pre-Christian Ireland only makes me love it more, as I am interested in ancient Ireland.  It is wonderful to have a bit of ancient custom survive the past.  I know some people who do not celebrate it for certain reasons, but I do not believe that it is wrong to celebrate Halloween.  I will always look fondly on it as one of my favorite holidays as a kid.

Homesick

I have never felt a sense of belonging in North America.  Even though I was born here, my family's origins are in Western Europe, and throughout my life I have been influenced by Irish and Scottish culture.  My Irish cousins keep expecting me to be Americanized, but I’m not.  In fact, I couldn’t be less Americanized.  Yes, some of the expressions I use are American, and I call my mother “mom” instead of “mum”, but otherwise, I have never really felt at home here.

I hate the feeling of being uprooted.  I have always wanted to return to my roots, to where I belong.  I want to live in a country where I can feel completely myself and at home, somewhere I don’t have to wear a hat and put on sunscreen all the time, somewhere the weather is more agreeable to me, somewhere I feel a cultural and emotional connection to, and somewhere I understand.

Ireland

I feel almost no connection to North America.  Of course, there are places I will always remember, because much of my childhood took place here, but I still have always felt out of place in this country.  You can take an Irish girl out of Ireland, but you can’t take Ireland out of an Irish girl.  That's how I feel about it.

Ireland is in my blood.  Irish people "have a love for the land", and to be separated from it is painful.  Like my family, I can't feel completely whole without it.  It's a part of me, and there's no getting away from that.

"It's my field.  It's my child.  I nursed it.  I nourished it.  I saw to its every want.  I dug the rocks out of it with my bare hands and I made a living thing of it!  My only want is that green grass, that lovely green grass, and you want to take it away from me, and in the sight of God I can't let you do that!" - The Field (1990)

Richard Harris in The Field (1990).

My homesickness has only increased more and more over the years.  Lately, it has reached the point where it is nearly unbearable.  I know now that I will move to Ireland at some point in my life, and live there.  I don’t want to stay stuck in North America forever – I’ve got to go home at some point.  The question is when?  Should I go before or after University?  (Because my mom is Irish and Scottish-Canadian, I sometimes refer to College as University out of habit.)

So, I discussed this subject with my mom, and she made some very good points.  If I want to move to Ireland, it’s better to go sooner, while I’m young, rather than later.  When my mom was young, she wanted to go to Ireland too, but they wouldn’t let her in.  At that time, Ireland didn’t have enough jobs for everyone.  They wouldn’t let anyone into their country.  That was why my dad left Ireland – he came to America for a job.  Many people were leaving Ireland to find jobs at that time.  Now, it’s different.  I can go to Ireland.  The first step is getting my Irish citizenship with help from my dad.

My mom pointed something else out, which I have been considering.  Perhaps I should visit Ireland first, and see if I would really want to live there?  Maybe America has become my home now, and I would feel homesick all over again when I got to Ireland?  Of course, I’ve been to Ireland more than once, to visit my relatives, but actually living in Ireland might take some getting used to.  This is actually a terrifying concept to me.  What if I can never feel at home anywhere?  I could end up feeling homesick no matter where I go.

I clearly remember Ireland, and how at home I felt there, and I’ll always remember how much I did not feel at home here.  I believe that moving to Ireland is the right choice for me.  The only downside is the separation from my mom's side of the family, though I would have my dad’s side of the family in Ireland.  Although, however much I love my dad’s side, my mom’s side are the people I have grown up with, and the thought of leaving them saddens me.

So you could say I am going through an uncertain phase in my life right now.  But really, when you get down to it, it's all very simple - I just want to go home.

Scottish and Irish Folk Music

Valuable aspects of culture like folklore and folk music need to be taught to later generations and passed on through the ages in order to keep them alive.  During the seventies, a rebirth of Scottish and Irish folk music took place.  Among the musicians who had the "torch passed" down to their generation, was one of my favorite Scottish musicians, Dougie MacLean.  I have been to one of his concerts when he was on tour, and met him.  In fact, my mom talked to him.  She has been a fan of Dougie's since she was fifteen.  Hopefully some day I will get to see him again at one of his concerts in Scotland.  Dougie MacLean is a Scottish singer and song-writer who continued the folk tradition by learning folk songs from the older generation of his people.  One of the Scottish song-writers Dougie MacLean and all of the other folk musicians are influenced by is Robert Burns, who wrote such classic and poetic folk songs as "Ye Banks and Braes O' Bonnie Doon", which was printed in the year 1792.  Robert Burns is a hero of the Scottish people and of working people everywhere.

Dougie MacLean has also written many new folk songs, which I love.  My favorite songs by him include "Ready for the Storm", "Turning Away", "Talking With My Father", "The Gael", and "Caledonia".

"The Gael" was the soundtrack (that Dougie MacLean composed) for the 1992 film adaptation of The Last of the Mohicans, based on a book I have read most of but have yet to finish, The Last of the Mohicans by the great American writer, James Fenimore Cooper.  I saw the film, and although it changed a lot of things in the book, even to the extent of completely changing one of the characters, I enjoyed it and thought it was beautifully made.  The soundtrack for The Last of the Mohicans is one of my most favorite film soundtracks ever.  It's epic and emotional all at once.  It fits the movie perfectly.

"Caledonia" is a Scottish folk ballad that Dougie MacLean wrote in 1977, about his love for his homeland, Scotland (Caledonia is a name for Scotland from Roman times).  This is Dougie MacLean's most well-known song, and has become a sort of national anthem for Scotland.  Every time I listen to this song I feel proud to have some Scottish blood in me.  It also makes me feel homesick, even though I have not been able to visit Scotland yet, though I plan to later in life.  I feel countries of my ethnicity are where I belong and I hope to visit them again (Scotland for the first time, but it would not be the first time I have visited Ireland).

Dougie MacLean sings Caledonia in the video below:

Andy Irvine (from London, England) and Paul Brady (from Northern Ireland) are folk singers who sing traditional Irish folk songs.  I have had a CD of a collection of their songs since I was very little.  I enjoy listening to their songs because it soothes me by making me think of my homeland, and where I belong.  One of my favorite songs sung by Andy Irvine and Paul Brady is "Arthur MacBride" (1976):

Cultural Differences in Ballroom Dancing

I have been thinking about the differences between English waltz, Argentine tango, and swing dancing.  From my experience with these three kinds of ballroom dancing, I have observed how different they are from each other culturally.  Waltz dancing can be perceived as stiffer and more reserved than other forms of ballroom dancing, such as Argentine tango.  In Argentine tango, which developed later than waltz did (in Buenos Aires, the tango capital of the world), the partners hold their faces closer to each other, in a more intimate manner.  Their bodies remain close to each other throughout the majority of the steps.  In waltz, the girl looks away from her partner, over her partner's right shoulder.  The waltzers'  arms and hands are less relaxed than the tango dancers', and they have to hold the position of their arms up higher, as they glide effortlessly around the room.  Waltzers have to keep the composure of ballet dancers the entire time.  Being a cultural expression born of more Northern climes, it has a touch of English culture, though waltzing came from Vienna and in comparison to England, it was from a more southern clime.  To me, waltz seems to be all about the appearance; it focuses on making the steps elegant.

Victoria dances the waltz with Albert in The Young Victoria (2009).

Waltz dancing was thought of as scandelous when it was introduced to English culture in the early 1810's, because of the partners' positions, with the man's hand on the girl's hip and the girl's hand on the man's shoulder.  In Regency Era England, dancing usually only involved the touch of the partner's hands.  Their dance movements involved graceful poses of the arms and hands, and in that way was quite reminisent of classical ballet.

The dance scene in Emma (2009).

Unfortunately, waltz dancing has changed more than tango, which has kept its social function.  The modern day emphasis on competition has changed waltz dancing stylistically, and in my opinion, has detracted from its natural beauty.  I would welcome a return to dance as a popular social activity and a return to more natural body postures.  The natural more intimate pose between dance partners of yesteryear is more beautiful, optimistic, and human.  I truly loved taking social waltz (I used to take waltzing classes in the summer).  It matched me pretty well, and I really felt connected with it.  I understood its mentality and personality.  Waltz dancing comes from my cultural background.  It is also connected to old fashioned ballroom dancing, in the days when my great grandmother was young.  I love that world when young people used to go to dances like that as social events for fun.  Waltz brings me closer to that world.

Alastair Sim as Ebenezer Scrooge dances the polka in Scrooge (1951).

Argentine tango has both European and African influences.  It derives from the waltz, but on the other hand, it is practically the exact opposite of waltz dancing, because tango is much more an expression of southern culture, both in terms of the Southern European immigrants to Buenos Aires, as well as the African slaves, who moved to the Argentine capital after they were freed.  Argentine tango is freer and less inhibited in its expressions; it's more personal.  It comes from a cultural world where, from my observation, there is a warm personality, something that someone like me, with the northern cultural background that I have, is at times less familiar with.  Argentine tango, particularly the era of the 1930's and 1940's, is a beautiful dance form, as is the music that accompanies it.

A more modern form of tango is called tango nuevo.  My impression is that the music is modernized from the style of the tango music from the 1930's and 1940's, and is apt to sound computerized, whereas milongas from the '30's and '40s would have a live band with talented musicians (something that could happen again if social dancing experienced a rejuvenation in popularity).  As you can observe from the following two videos, tango has evolved, both in terms of the music and the dance movements.  Tango nuevo (or nuevo tango) has kept tango innovative as it keeps apace with the times.

I liked learning Argentine tango as well, but in a way it was very different from waltz and something I was not used to.  It helped vary my perspective and opened my eyes to a different culture, which is always a beneficial experience.  But I didn't feel as connected to it as I did with waltz.  I often get the impression that people look upon being reserved to be a negative thing, and that being more personal is more real.  I don't think people understand the more reserved cultures.  The cultural perspective of waltz is just different from the perspective of tango.

Most swing dances came from African American culture, and grew to be very popular in the 1920's, during the Jazz Age and the Harlem Renaissance.  Swing dancing has a fast paced rhythm and expresses itself openly with its energy.

Below is a video of a Lindy Hop ("The Lindy Hop" is a very fast type of swing dance) competition from YouTube that I really like.  The dancers are very skilled and do a lot of impressive moves.  I don't think I could ever dance as fast as they can!

I adore swing dancing.  I wish I could have taken far more swing classes than I have in the past.  I think swing dancing balances well with waltz dancing, as opposites tend to do.